Burn Rubber
Jim "Burn" Rubber is a hardtop heartthrob, the king of the open-wheel racing set. He and his rival, Bob Demon, argue over who has the hottest pistons on the raceway and decide to settle their score in the upcoming "big race." Meanwhile, Rubber's old lady Maggie has finally managed to talk Burn into tying the knot. The gear-grinder wants to get hitched on the speedway "at 120 miles an hour," but Maggie insists that her white wedding is not going to feature a checkered flag. "Once we get married, I want to be your whole life," Maggie complains. "Well, then, why don't you let me put my life into your hole? " Burn replies. Maggie backs it up to the pump and Burn fills 'er up. After Burn catches a nut, he informs his betrothed that it's time to run along to his bachelor party. The affair, however, seems to have attracted no more than a single participant - a comely brunette who's more than willing to give Burn his final test drive as a free agent. Their coupling is interrupted, however, by the appearance of Bob Demon, who berates Burn for his infidelities ("If you don't quit working on my women, I'm gonna put a pitchfork up your ass.") Luckily, the lady in the middle manages to settle the score, offering up her finely formed chassis for the two rivals to split. Meanwhile, Burn's betrothed and her best buddy Judy are making adjustments to Maggie's wedding dress. Apparently caught up in the emotion of the moment, the two end up on opposite ends of a rather imposing double dong, evidently a shower gift. Cut to the next day (or the next week... or the next month...). Burn has conversations trackside with Maggie and the Demon, both of which are largely inaudible due to the fact that ROARING CAR ENGINES ARE LOUDER THAN THE HUMAN VOICE! (sound man, please take note). Maggie goes off to her friend Olive's for another of the film's strangely under-attended stag parties (nobody but Olive seems to show up) while Burn sneaks off to Maggie's friend Judy's place. Fresh out of the shower, Judy is shocked by Burn's come-ons (oh yeah... he's supposed to be drunk), but doesn't resist too strenuously when the grease monkey begins to tinker around under her hood. Back at the bachelorette bash, Maggie and Olive overhear a neighboring couple getting it on in the apartment next door. In need of a dose of love lotion to help his bedmate lube up, the young stud knocks on Olive's door to borrow a cup of Vaseline (I shit you not!). The girls giggle manically at the stud's predicament and decide to let him try his mettle on a well-oiled snatch. In gratitude, he offers each lady a complimentary cunt wash. Meanwhile, Judy tells Burn that she regrets having jumped his bones so close to her best friend's wedding. He tries to assuage her anxiety but gets a complex of his own when he finds Judy's double dong hidden beside the bed. A quick olfactory inspection reveals that the tonsil tickler has recently spent quality time inside of Maggie's muff! "What's the matter, don't I satisfy her?" Burn exclaims. Appearing at Olive's a short time later, Burn discovers his fiancé in the sack with the naughty neighbor, who - get this! - turns out to be a judge for the upcoming "big race." In spite of the consequences to his career, Burn throttles the philandering official and chases him out of the house. All turns out well, however, when we learn the next morning that Burn has decided to give up racing and devote himself fulltime to the off-road needs of his horny new bride.
Studio:
After Hours Cinema
Genres:
FOR WOMEN
Classics,FOR WOMEN
Features,CLASSICS
70's,PLOT ORIENTED
Classic
Starring:
Lois Chabroi
Kelly Lerner
Alexander Ker
Jon Campbell
Susanna Love
Mark Fischer
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